As we say goodbye to the warm nights of summer and welcome the cool evenings of fall and we leave the smell of cut grass and burgers cooking on the grill in the air to greet the smell of burning fire pits and apple pies baking in the oven I can’t help but smile as I prepare to say my final goodbyes to family and friends and prepare to welcome a new season of my own.
In a way the timing of my leaving is slightly ironic. Fall is my favorite time of year. It’s what I’m probably going to miss most aside from family and friends. So to leave when the air has just become crisp and the leaves are just beginning to change in a way makes it that much harder to go. Most people know of my distaste for summer. That’s understatement I actually hate summer and so the irony is that as I prepare to leave my family, friends and season I love most I also prepare to live in a state of perpetual heat.
I’ve never been good at saying goodbye. I told a friend that I would rather just leave quietly in the middle of the night. Saying my goodbyes in the stillness of dark and silently in my heart than to speak them allowed for fear I may lose my composure and expose a tear or two. I’m very seldom moved to tears but when I think of who I’m leaving I can’t help but become nostalgic and saddened at what I’ll be missing out on in the lives of those I love most.
During this time I’ve also been reminded of God’s faithfulness and love for me. How He delights and takes joy in me and in our time together. I know He will provide. I know He will give me the strength I need to say goodbye that He’ll provide for all my needs both physical and emotional. He has already provided me with a team that is encouraging and loving. I know He has gone before me preparing the way for me and I know He’ll be walking right beside me all the way speaking to me in that subtle way that has become so familiar. I also know that He will be with those I love. Reminding them how He cares for each of His children that His hand is over me and guiding me. He will give them peace and strength when they need it most. He is our comforter our Abba.
As sad as it is to say goodbye I’m excited for what awaits. I know without a doubt in my mind and heart that this is what He is calling me to. To know you are walking in obedience and in step with Gods will leaves you with a sense peace that can’t be explained. It doesn’t mean that dying to your own wants and dreams is easy or that the walk will be smooth and bump free but that there is comfort in knowing that you are right where He wants you. And whether He brings me home in two years or calls me to stay longer I will continue to walk in step with Him and His plan for my life.
So, to my family and friends I love you and am thankful for the parts you play in my life. Until we see each other again.
Come, Lord Jesus!
Matthew
